Finding patterns in other people's lives is easier, somehow, than identifying them in my own. In what ways do I tend to treat people? Do I ask people for constructive criticism? Do I invite it? Do people feel like they can tell me when I'm being a jerk, or stupid, or short-sighted? Do I ask what I can do to improve my relationships with people who matter to me?
It's scary to ask that sort of question because you may discover that they don't care as much about a real relationship as you do. You may find they're satisfied with just letting things be fun and casual, enjoyable, but not inclined to put themselves out or make themselves vulnerable to you, or vice versa. Such an imbalance in expectations from a relationship can be difficult to come to terms with.
It's also uncomfortable because you might discover that weaknesses you thought you had strengthened are still manifesting themselves in ways you'd rather they not. Or you might find that the person you ask is more than willing to offer criticism but will never invite the same in return. Or you might find out you're actually being a jerk and didn't know it.
But just as you have teachers and trainers to provide you with third-person perspective and suggestions and constructive criticism, asking people you trust can help you become better at relationships and know how to improve yourself in ways you otherwise probably would not.
So yeah, I've been realizing I don't do it much. I should do it more.
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