A Month In The Life...

Obviously, I've not been updating my blog for a while. Just sporadic posting here and there. I've been running around, mainly between Utah and Idaho, and every time I've thought about updating, I've just gotten a bit overwhelmed and decided I'd rather make memories than record them for the time being. But there's something to be said for journaling and for updating those of my friends and family who are interested, so I'm catching up with the Cliff's Notes version of my last month or so. I know it's a lot, so skip what doesn't interest you (for many, that may be the whole wretched mess, which is fine with me). :-)


DISNEY WORLD
(Pics posted separately)
I flew from New York to Orlando to meet my parents and Sidney, just missing the tail end of...was it Ida? The change to warm, t-shirt weather was welcome after the blustery last day in New York. Jason and his sister, Ashlee, met us there for part of the weekend, having flown in from Georgia and California. Friends and family in Disney World: GREAT way to follow a last-minute job interview in New York. We had a great time in Disney World, hitting all the theme parks and Treasure Island (including DisneyQuest--the Pirates game was pretty dern fun--and Cirque du Soliel's La Nouba, which was great as usual--my third Cirque show so far [Varekai and Ka being the others]). Some highlights:

• Slumber party with room service pizza and a ridiculously expensive in-room movie.
• Toy Story 3D game in Hollywood Studios, which Maw, Sid, and I went on a total of...three or four times? You should see Maw when she's shooting stuff to bits. It's intense.
• Sid and I ate at Il Mulino at the hotel and had a good talk and some pretty much amazing food (perfectly cooked pasta certainly didn't hurt and is surprisingly rare), particularly the gelato and sorbet we took back to the room to share with the grandparents/parents.
• Gummies and chocolate and dessert buffet.
• The gorillas at Animal Kingdom.
• The Italian pavilion "cast members" and the greeter at the French restaurant.
• Dad in the Frogman gallery.
• Bluezoo butternut squash pasta and scallops, which made my soul resonate with culinary joy.
• "You're hairy." -Sid during lunch at the Magic Kingdom.
• "Oh shhhhiii-oot!!!" -Ashlee on the Jungle ride in Magic Kingdom.

JETBLUE FLIGHT ATTENDANT?
*BZZZZZT* No-go. Rejected. I wasn't all broken up about it, but it was disappointing. I have no idea what the reasons are. I may have to contact one of my interviewers through a friend to see if she has any suggestions for me.


COOKIES, GAMES, AND A CRAPTASTIC MOVIE
Got together with some acquaintances before Halloween to frost some holiday cookies. Here's a picture of a dry one I frosted.

We also played TriBond, which was much fun, then watched a movie, which a couple of us pushed on the others, remembering it as a really funny movie from when we were younger: Haunted Honeymoon. It was...well, not as funny as I remember. But I still love Gilda Radner and Dom DeLuise, and Gene Wilder is pretty good, too. And the scene with him sitting on the other guy's legs = classic comedy. But I think the highlight was when someone commented that the maid looked like Elder Bednar in drag:

DIAMOND FORK HOT SPRINGS #1
Four of us hiked out to Diamond Fork Hot Springs up Spanish Fork Canyon in October, braving newly cold temperatures. About halfway up the trail, we were startled to happen upon the rear ends of several cows, including a calf or two. As we shrugged and started following them up the trail, the rear-most calf scampered forward into the small herd, and the rearward cow turned and postured at us. We stopped and slowly stepped back a bit, leaving them some respectful distance. So we continued, slowly plodding along behind a bunch of moseying cows. As soon as they veered off onto a higher trail, we scurried forward to avoid meeting them again where the higher and lower trails intersected. The rest of the hike up was pretty uneventful. After an hour or so of soaking, we headed back down. We had a good laugh when Steve, who was in front, came running backwards into the group clapping his hands because he'd seen something of non-negligible size dart through some shadows. A short while later, we heard something in the brush just off the trail and, as we walked on, slightly faster now, questioning what it was, we smelled it: it was a skunk, and it was spraying. We ran. As we bounced down the trail past another group, we warned them. As they reached the point we'd darted from, we heard one of the girls behind us say, "I think I got some in my eye!" We laughed, of course. Around the bend, Steve again jumped with a start as he looked to the right and saw a ghostly outline of a large skull in the shadows just a few feet from the trail: the white head of a large, brown cow. Naturally, as he jumped, he yelled, "Aa, cow!" Again, laughter. ...until the nearby calf acted scared, and the cow started to get up. Again, running.



DIAMOND FORK HOT SPRINGS #2
Late November, another group headed up the canyon for a dip in the hot springs. This time, the trail was packed snow and ice much of they way, so the hike was an adventure in an entirely new way. Apparently, we needed more excitement, though, so Randall turned all Rambo on us and started throwing snowballs from unseen hiding places. Up at the springs, one of the guys found a great pool I'd not been to. I was really skeptical at first because it was more shallow than the one I'd been to before, but it was great. Out of the way, right near the waterfall, and totally adjustable temperature. It started out too cool, so we put some rocks around the inlet, and we roasted ourselves, then found the perfect balance. I also discovered the joy of holding the empty water bottle at the bottom of the pool and letting it go, resulting in a rocket (demonstrated in a photo below by one of the cohorts). Simple pleasures, I tell you. The trip down, in the frozen dark, was slightly more treacherous, and in a few parts, all we could do was hunker down and slide down the trail for a few feet, hoping we'd slide straight rather than off the side and down the hill. I wish I'd taken pictures of the sliding.







CHRISTMAS AROUND THE WORLD
Justin and Derek were visiting Utah from Seattle for the weekend, and we all went to Christmas Around the World, a performance by BYU's international folk dance teams and alumni. This one was far cheesier in some ways than the other one I went to a few years ago, but it was very fun, and it was great to have some Seattle friends visiting for the first time in quite a while. Visiting other friends, playing Blokus, eating at Mazza, watching 80s movies, good times.


WII WITH THE PARENTS AND OTHER IDAHO FUN
I've been spending quite a bit of time in Idaho lately, between Thanksgiving, getting my car fixed by the dealer they trust up there, and just needing to get away from Utah and have some quiet "me" time in solitude to read, edit photos, look for jobs and housing, etc. It's also been fun to connect with a couple of friends up there and get to know them a little better. I even found someone else who knows and loves Big Business, a movie starring Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler I hadn't seen since I was pretty young but used to love. I have to admit I loved it more then, but it still brought joy to my heart to watch it again. And of course I love playing the Wii with the parentals. We take turns winning at bowling (mostly Maw), and I thrash at MarioKart (until I play online with gamers who humble me). Yes, my parents own a Wii. I know. Weird. :-)


VIENNA TENG IN PARK CITY
After my last trip up to Idaho, I swung by the Salt Lake airport to pick up Ty and whisk him off to Park City for the Vienna Teng/Alex Wong concert, which was great as usual. I enjoyed hearing old favorites re-created with percussion and performed on a large-ish stage with lighting effects at the Eccles Center. I'd only seen her perform at small-venue concerts before, so this was a fun change of pace, even if less intimate. In the lobby, I asked Vienna and Alex to sign a couple of things for me, and as they did, I did the stupid fan thing and told her how much I enjoyed the concert and then told her that of all the musicians I like, she's the one I most want to have a conversation with over dinner or sipping steamers in a jazz cafe or something. She said, "Well, I hope we get to do that sometime. Are you coming to the thing after this?" My first impression was, "Wow, she actually put that out there. Interesting. Maybe she doesn't think I'm a total creep." Then I talked myself back, "Well, maybe she's trying to avoid you asking her out by thinking of a neutral, public setting she can give you a token word or two." With this dialog going on in my head, I said I didn't know what that was, so she asked one of the organizers about it, and the organizer said they were having a reception. Alex asked the organizer if it was open-invite or list-only, and she said it was kind of a list thing. Meanwhile, I was thinking, "Wow, this is kind of awkward, waiting to find out if I might be invited to something but wondering if I should just say something to relieve them of trying to gently let me down...but what if I could get a chance to talk to her just a little...that would be cool...no, no, let the poor girl go." I said, "No biggy, I'm not trying to sneak an invite or anything, I'm just saying if the opportunity came, I wouldn't reject it." She repeated she hoped we get to, and I, not wanting to force myself or be all creepy (I mean, she has no reason to believe I'm an interesting person, let alone a sane one) just smiled and thanked them for the concert and wished them a good night. On the way out, Ty basically called me a wuss: "So...y'know...maybe...if someday...we were able to talk...maybe in the next life of something..." Jerk.

We then headed to the family cabin/apartment of one of Ty's friends, in downtown Park City, where I related my little awkward exchange with one of my favorite musical artists, and Patrice informed me I'm a total wuss and should've asked for Vienna's contact info and let her know I was going to be in Park City. I said I didn't want to come across as creepy or pushy, and she said if a guy's creepy, anything he does is creepy, and if he's not, such an invitation or request is flattering, so I had nothing to lose. We discussed briefly. I learned a thing or two about how smooth I am not. But I wasn't exactly looking for a date! Just letting her know that I think she's an interesting person I'd like to have a conversation with...of course, if I really want to, why not try to? In my effort to not be creepy, I ended up being all awkward and wussy. Ha, lessons learned (hopefully). Better luck next time!


TABERNACLE CHOIR CHRISTMAS CONCERT
The next morning, rather than linger and loiter as cabin-apartments are meant for, we woke up early to get down to Salt Lake to the Conference Center for the Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert with Natalie Cole. We woke up to well over a foot of new snow. The Jeep was buried, but I am loving 4-wheel-drive more and more as we get deeper into winter. Love it. Michael wasn't so fortunate, and his little sedan was too low to clear the snow, so he had to dig out to get out the long driveway. Unfortunately, Ty and I had already left, thinking the other two would get out fine, so we happily went to the concert while the others dug out of the snow. I felt bad about that. ...but hey, by the time we found out, they were already leaving, so no sense in losing sleep over it: on to the concert! It was great (sorry to those who missed it) as usual. I've been to five of these in a row: fun tradition I highly recommend. Tickets are hard to get, but if you just show up, you'll often find someone giving away tickets, much more so on Sunday morning, which doesn't even always fill up.




There have, of course, been other goings-on, but most don't inspire narratives or would otherwise not make good, light-and-fluffy blog entries. Yes, life's been busy, even in unemployment. Oh right, I'm supposed to be job-hunting...

The Demise of Friendship?

Someone posted an article on Facebook (ironically enough) about the change in or decline of friendship as a cultural phenomenon, particularly as it relates to trends perpetuated (or reflected?) by such social networking sites as Facebook and MySpace. I think everyone interested in "real" relationships but wondering why they can't seem to really connect with others should read it:

Faux Friendship

I agree with so much of what the author is saying about the nature of friendship and how real intimacy seems to be on the decline, and how the loss of classical, or romantic, friendship, the kind about which poets used to write, is tragic and a reflection of an increasingly impersonal society full of people seemingly phobic of true intimacy while clawing at it in futile ways.

I particularly agree with the argument that friendship used to be a relationship meant for mutual improvement, a true, hard-won intimacy strong enough to be truly honest and open in helping bring out each other's best and grow together. Friendship was a dedication and investment, not a mere affinity. Friendship was personal and intuitive, not a manipulative checklist of dirt one has on the other. It was a support for weathering storms, not a relationship which loses its usefulness when the "fun" wears off. True friendship was considered a lasting, committed, mutually beneficial, intimate relationship, not the fluffy playmateship on which so many seem fixated today. With the classical kind of friendships, who could be truly lonely?

On the other hand, maybe that is a romantic or exaggerated notion, that friendship "used to be" something it's not today. Maybe the form of finding such friendships has simply changed. Maybe people in the romantic past also struggled to find true connection but for an entirely different set of reasons, such as having to hide socially unacceptable parts of themselves from even their closest friends. Maybe friendship has made strides in some ways even while declining in others. Maybe it's not that different, fundamentally, from how it's always been. But I'm inclined to agree that it seems like friendship is cheaper today, hollower, and tinny like most of what comes out of Hollywood. I strive for better. I prefer friends who will not tell me I'm perfect while watching me march into a pit of snakes or desecrate my integrity in violation of my own values and principles. That's not to say I want preachy friends or friends who think their values and principles should be mine, in the same priority they hold them. I just don't think anyone who always says, "You're perfect the way you are, and anyone who doesn't see that is stupid," can be trusted, and I have to trust my friends.

What I disagree with in this article is that Facebook is, in and of itself, some kind of friendship destroyer, a monster hacking away at the roots of intimacy. Facebook is a tool. It is admittedly a tool many use for self-flattery, false celebrity, professional and social networking, self-marketing, divulgence of information nobody needs or wants to hear (I don't care what genitalia you would be if your personality were made into a body part, for example), or amassing a collection of "friends" which should more accurately be called "people with whom I have some kind of connection." But blaming Facebook for the way people use it is a bit like blaming higher education for snobbery and elitism, or religion for genocide and hatred. It may make sense on a social level, depending on your perspective, but the thing isn't the cause or the problem: it's how it's interpreted and used.

I, for one, only add people on Facebook whom I've met and connected with on some level. I occasionally have approved requests from people I only met once and don't necessarily expect to get to know better (and I adjust their access to my profile accordingly), and I have approved a very small number of people I hadn't yet met, usually spouses of friends or some similar level of incidental connection, but whom I later meet. Have there been hotties or interesting people I'd like to add and become incidentally familiar with by window shopping their Facebook profile before deciding whether to meet in person? Yeah, definitely. But I've refused to do it on principle. I've just never really wanted to meet people that way, for the most part.

But what of people who do meet that way? Does the use of a tool in initial acquaintance preclude the development of intimacy? Does having 500 Facebook friends automatically rule out the possibility of selectively becoming close with a few of them? Do the benefits of maintaining many connections and acquaintances outweigh the loss of time with a few close friends? Is there a balance to be struck? Can I maintain incidental contact through the efficiency of sites like Facebook even while investing time in my more intimate friendships sufficient to develop rich and meaningful relationships with them? I think so. Have I found that balance? Probably not. But I'm working on it. Live life deliberately, right? Nobody's perfectly balanced. It seems the cultural scale is tilted heavily towards hollow relationships, but I'm trying to keep my scale where I want it: leaning towards the intimacy even while maintaining a useful and productive number of casual friendships and acquaintances, some of which may someday become more intimate friendships.

Yes, friendships may wax and wane. And with the mobility of our society, people moving around from place to place in search of education and work, that's bound to happen. If we all stayed put more often, as I think old-timers did, we'd have more opportunity for lasting, life-long friendships, which I think is a beautiful thing. But with mobility comes more contact and more opportunities to learn from more people with more perspectives. Fortunately, tools like Facebook help us remember friends who are distant and more efficiently see what they're up to and share our adventures with them. Yes, it can be painful to see their lives marching on while you start from scratch, but not being aware of it doesn't stop it from happening, and you can control whether these things are shoved in your face or quietly happening out of view if you want to. Learn the tool, use it well. Trade-offs. Balance.

One point made in the article I found particularly interesting is that of memories being sort of whitewashed by the present. It's poignantly stated, but I'm not sure I completely buy it. Having "reconnected" with childhood or otherwise years-past friends, in that electronic, online way, I've discovered we remember some things differently, and we remember different things, and re-evaluating my mental snapshots in that light has expanded and refined my perception of those memories. I would rather see clearly than remember it however I find most comfortable, but there's more to it than that. There may be touchy-feely, emotional motives to remember things how we want to, or comfort in leaving people firmly in the past where they "belong", but I'm fascinated by people and relationships and development, and I find it interesting to hear how they remember things, or to see what they're up to these days and how they seem to have changed or remained the same, even if I only look at their profile once. I see my childhood friends pop up on Facebook, clubbing in New York, or living in a trailer in rural Idaho, or playing with their two or six children, and I consciously know I no longer really "know" them, but I like knowing, at the very least, that they're alive somewhere, carrying memories of me as I carry memories of them. In some way, for better or worse, we've been a part of each other's development and memory, even if only incidentally. It reminds me to make the most of today, to be a positive memory for today's friends and coworkers. And then, when I'm tired of seeing information about them, I hide them from my feed and only go back when, one day, I think, "I wonder whatever happened to So-and-so. Oh yeah, they're on Facebook, let's see." A minute later, I've moved on, but for that minute, a part of my life that contributed to who I am today was brought back into view, sparked by information and pictures that elicited memories the mere incidental thought never would have. Am I a changed man because I spent a minute looking at the profile of a friend I've not spoken with in years? Maybe not. Could I have spent that minute calling a loved one I am close with? Yes. Would I have? Probably not. But the perspective--the little adjustment, the reminder of one's influence, the reminder of who you used to be and how things have changed--can, if you allow it, be useful.

In short, I fully support the caution flags raised by the author, and I share the author's lament for the nature of friendship in our culture, but I think deleting your Facebook account in response would be extreme and silly. While I think the author makes some scapegoating leaps, I really enjoyed the article and recommend it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have plans with friends to spend time, in person, sharing our stories and updates, seeing what's behind the words in each other's eyes and gestures, sharing energy and sensation, and just being together. I think much of what the author is trying to say is summed up in a quote from one of my favorite movies, Good Will Hunting:

So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel.

More Career Quizzing

Another test on the same site gave the following results. Again, I've bolded and underlined the parts that induce a nod from me. What think ye?


Interests: BLUE

People with Blue interests like activities that allow them to be creative. This can be through more traditional visual arts, writing or musical pursuits although not limited to these. The creativity is often expressed in thinking of new ideas or strategies that can have a broad range of applications. Blue interests often like thinking about the future and planning for long term benefits. Hobbies include: performing or listening to music, attending theater, story telling, journaling, decorative arts, painting. Career choice often are: Editor, Journalist, Teacher, Strategic Planner, Consultant, Performing Arts, Marketing, Communications, Research and Development.


Strengths: BLUE

People with Blue strengths are good at building long term relationships with others that are based on trust and respect. They are sensitive to the individual needs and concerns of others and respond with great understanding and intuition to emotionally difficult situations. They are good at making complex decisions because they will take the time to carefully evaluate their options so they make the best decision the first time. An additional strength they often have is to think about the future and put plans and strategies in place that are focused on long term goals.

Finding a Career By...Choosing Colors?

I'm exploring career paths, jobs, educational programs, etc a little bit, and I just took a color-preference-based test. I'm a bit skeptical of such, but they're kinda fun and interesting, and if nothing else, when someone offers suggestions, I can either say, "You might be right: I am interested in that..." or "Actually, no, I think I can actually eliminate that from my options."

I've bolded and underlined (because the bolding didn't show up well) some points that I particularly agree with for myself or which intrigue me, but what do y'all think of these results, judging from however well you know me?




#
Best Occupational Category
You're a CREATOR
Key Words:
Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional

These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.

CREATOR OCCUPATIONS
Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.

CREATOR WORKPLACES
Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.

Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.




#
2nd Best Occupational Category
You're an ORGANIZER
Key Words:
Self-Control, Practical, Self-Contained, Orderly, Systematic, Precise, and Accurate

These conservative appearing, plotting-types enjoy organizing, data systems, accounting, detail, and accuracy. They often enjoy mathematics and data management activities such as accounting and investment management. Persistence and patience allows them to do detailed paperwork, operate office machines, write business reports, and make charts and graphs.