Hunches

...I sometimes wish they were wrong more often. But unfortunately, those wary hunches...they're usually confirmed.

When something seems rather awry with a person or in a relationship, it is. It's not me being crazy or overly suspicious or imagining things. I try to offer some benefit of doubt, remain open to the possibility that I'm just not understanding something or being too critical. But I'm learning to start trusting my red flag hunches more. When the puzzle doesn't seem to fit, some pieces are probably missing. Give it time: they'll come together slowly, and the pieces are often hidden away for a reason.

I always tell myself not to judge too hastily. You never know the full story, and sometimes people just are different and view life differently from me, and I can't necessarily understand their motives, nor do I know what else is behind the scenes that I don't know about. And that's true. But it's a little disconcerting how often I've said, "I don't know...there's something about him/her that I can't put my finger on but just doesn't sit right," and found out later that there was definitely a reason for that. Past hunches have consistently been confirmed by information incidentally uncovered weeks, months, or years later. I'm not an overly suspicious guy in general, so why should it be surprising that I wasn't making up the suspicions?

Note to self: trust your hunches more often. Still learn to communicate better and deal with emotions better, then give people a chance to respond, see how they'll communicate, what information they'll volunteer, what remains unsaid or defended against. Don't settle for a relationship full of hunches. You deserve better. If clearing the hunches is like pulling teeth, get out.