No, this is not some essay on the fallen state of mankind since the Garden of Eden. It's a lament for my love-hate relationship with the season before winter: autumn.
I actually love autumn. There's so much to love about the season which appears to be upon us. I love the trees turning yellows and oranges and reds and driving through curvy roads surrounded by them. I love the refreshing cool of the night air. I love the fact that I get to wear my thermal shirts again. I love my thermals. And light sweaters. I love sweaters. I think I look best in long-sleeved shirts, and my definitely most butt-flattering pants are too heavy to wear during most of summer. I love the spices and, consequently, autumn foods and drinks. Thanksgiving (day of thanking the powers that be for amazing edibles and expandable stomachs) is right around the corner (even more so for my Canadian friends). I love the rain and the thunder storms. I love bundling up in a blanket with hot cider and watching the fire all cozy-like...
...which leads me to the "cursed" part. It happens every year, as the seasons change and the nights get colder. More than any time of year, during the Fall, I really want someone to snuggle up with and wrap my arms around. In the living room watching a thunder storm, or in the hot springs in the mountains, or sipping cider by a fire, or just in a blanket watching a movie, or in bed when I hug my pillow... (insert tragic and somewhat pathetic violin music here) It usually comes with a romantic feeling. Wishing I had someone "special" to snuggle up with. Of course, cuddle-buddies are OK sometimes. Not that I have any here, and not that I'm much of a cuddler except with a very few people. And most of my friends, to be honest, aren't especially cuddly types. But even if they were, for some reason, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't really satiate this feeling. Nor would a dog or cat to snuggle up to. I mean, it's great to have a dog cozying its head on your lap or, much better, a purring cat curled up in your arms, but it's just not the same as a romantic someone. "Go find a cuddle-buddy then!" you say. But no, I'm not one to cuddle for the sake of cuddling. I'd rather not cuddle than cuddle with someone who doesn't matter to me or with whom I don't really have a good level of trust. And so I go cuddleless through this cuddly time of year... (cue your most heartfelt sympathies and "aws")
As a result, I think the ol' heart searches more during the fall for someone to direct that energy towards. No coincidence, probably, that this tends to be the time of year I've crushed more than other times. So far, though, there is no such target, which is both relieving (because I don't want the messiness of a flirtationship right now) and frustrating (because I got all this tender lovin' to give!). What's a guy to do? If you see me snuggled up in a blanket by the fireplace with my pillow and two mugs of cider, don't judge.
6 comments:
Get a snuggy!
As a side-note: You used the word "cuddle" or a very close synonym 15 times in this post. I'm impressed.
I was reading through the first paragraph thinking what on earth is he not going to like about fall... he seems to like everything about it... it's a great a season. And of course, I think you did find the one negative thing about it :(
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go wrap myself up in a blanket and sit by the window.
A fireplace, a soft blanket, a good book, and a warm furry dog or cat really do help. But then, I'm old . . .
Aww... now I almost feel bad leaving you mid-chat to cuddle with my hubby... but hey, it's getting cold and I *need* the cuddles to warm me up!! Well, what about cuddling up to Esteban? Babies make great cuddle buddies too :)
Ha, Snuggies, dogs, and babies are nice, but this Fall curse is a romantic one for the most part.
Sad story. Cry for me.
P.S.--Do I know you, El Genio? :-)
Post a Comment