Hopeless

I'm a pretty heady guy. Yes, yes, pick up your jaw if you can and try, for a moment, to control your shock at this announcement. I'm analytical. I'm practical in certain ways. I often seem coldly detached from situations I'm trying to figure out. I probably come across as all befuddled when I feel something my head tells me not to blindly act on. What people don't see is where I've made a decision with my heart and come up with reasons to explain it. All others hear is the reasoning to back it up, not the fact that the decision was actually fairly based on what I felt in my gut. Nevertheless, I'm a heavily logical person, and I more often rely more on reason than on emotion in making decisions.

But despite my seemingly (yes, I use the word "seemingly" quite deliberately) coldly analytical personality, I'm a bit of a romantic in ways that might surprise some who don't know me really well.

I want to share our deepest ideas and appreciate each other's talents and teach each other. I want to be able to talk about anything. And I want to take someone special back to my hometown to see where I grew up. I want to bring someone home to meet my family. I want to carry on family traditions and start new ones with someone who will share them with me for life. On the sappier side, I would like to kiss someone in a downpour. And I want to have "our song", "our place", "our movie", "our inside joke"... I want to make meals together and eat by candlelight. I do kinda want some of this puky romantic stuff. I do. Although, try to get too lovey-dovey with me, and I'll probably laugh and roll my eyes. Hey, I'm not THAT sappy.

For someone so heady, you'd think I'd be much more careful about falling for someone with whom I know a relationship will not be able to go anywhere. Yet there are some situations in which my mind apparently has less sway over my heart than I'd like. Maybe someday, I'll fall for someone who's actually right for me. Until then, stone cold single me lives on...