Utah Billboards Say It All

Utah has a very quirky culture. Had you heard? Case in point: pay attention to the billboards you pass driving along I-15 any day. I only have images of the first two examples, but here are some honorable mentions from my favorite billboards:


Exhibit #1: Ads for people who have left a religion

Honestly, where else in the world will you find billboards informing people there are others like them who have somehow escaped the clutches of the mind-controlling _____(fill in the blank with your choice of evil religions)?


Exhibit #2: Escape Polygamy

Again, where else?


Exhibit #3: Divorce law ads next to Engagement Ring ads

In a two-mile stretch, you're likely to see ads for lawyers, some of which are telling you not to get the short end of the stick in a divorce settlement, intermingled with wedding gown and engagement ring ads saying things like "size matters". Why do I feel like I'm getting mixed signals?


Exhibit #4: Beer ads using the phrase "Oh my heck"

Remember the Saint Provo Girl beer ad controversy? Priceless. I guess there's a more recent one poking fun at polygamy. Boy, polygamy jokes never get old. *yawn*


Exhibit #5: Laser Hair Removal and Plastic Surgery ads

They're everywhere. Apparently, Utah is full of grotesquely hairy ape-like men and tragically small-breasted women. Poor people. It's a good thing there are clinics on every corner to satisfy this urgent need.


Exhibit #6: Modest clothing ads next to Lingerie ads

Something for everyone. Or perhaps there are many women in the valley who shun showing any flesh above the ankles and elbows by day (by wearing tent-like dresses that ensure any onlooker will be able to assume your gender only by the fact that you're wearing a dress) and become lace-clad vixens by night.


Exhibit #7: Trophy Homes

OK, only in a ridiculously commercial, pathologically obliterate-the-Joneses society can you name your company specifically to appeal to the uncontrollable drive to have "trophy" anything. The ad I noticed the other day features a nice-enough but fairly cookie-cutter home and says something about having the best without paying too much. Having the best. That's what matters. Of course, what "the best" means doesn't seem to matter: it was left completely unexpounded. All that matters is "having the best". Well, I'm sure the trophy homes will greatly appeal to the deeply indebted men and the trophy wives who love them. You know the kind: the no-taste guy who has little personality and even less class but enough money to attract an orange-skinned, streaky bleached-blonde, equally uninteresting wife with artificially bulbous bosoms. Because hey, it's all about trophies.


So maybe I'm a bit harsh in my critique of that last example. And maybe I'm spot-on. Either way, I find it very refreshing to see the rare billboard that actually shows some sense of taste and reflects marketing/design skill among the sea of completely undesigned, mass-market crap ads. And better yet, I love seeing the Foundation for a Better Life ads. I absolutely love what that organization does.