I eat ice cream by the spoonful, rarely by the bowlful. It's about savoring the creamy flavor, not gorging on sugar. ...or I'm just cheap. ...or afraid of getting fat. ...or all of the above. ...probably all of the above.
...and I just ran and slid across the floor to the flatware drawer because I was excited to grab my spoon. ...but I wasn't in my undies like Tom Cruise. This house has too many windows for that.
12 April 2010
09 April 2010
Backposting
I got partially caught up on posting some photos, and I backdated them to the date of the most recent photos from each post. Since backdating them sometimes eliminates them from "readers" that notify people when they're posted, I'm posting links to all of them here:
05 April 2010
04 April 2010
Funky-Mood Weekend
I know better than to give too much importance to a mood slump when I'm severely sleep-deprived, which I am. I've been gallivanting around this weekend and stayed at two different friends' places, on their couches, which would've been OK, but we also stayed up really late talking, watching movies, playing Wii. I didn't get to sleep until 5:30 this morning. Woke up around noon. Bleh. So yes, my sleep has been really erratic, and I tend to get into "down" moods or mildly depressed when I'm sleep-deprived or sleeping extremely irregularly. I'm hoping a good night's rest at home will help tonight.
I don't know if I'll post all of my thoughts today, but they are not happy-bubbly, so if I do, I'm just explaining that I know it's not the end of the world, and I don't mean to whine. I just sometimes think it's productive to let each other know when we're down and struggling, or to express troublesome thoughts to open them up to feedback or understanding from others. Expressing one's struggles is not paramount to whining or being a wuss. Anyone who thinks differently is probably emotionally constipated in certain ways or, quite simply, a total ass.
I'm pretty sure I'll feel better later, and I may have happy or silly things to say later tonight or tomorrow after some rest or after shaking it off. I'll probably look back on today as a mood blip brought on by being completely worn out and getting far too little sleep. But what I can't shake is the notion that the things that bother me when I'm in this weakened emotional state, the issues that surface: the feelings of loneliness, misunderstanding, uselessness, lack of talent, being unlovable, hopelessly single and solitary, etc, are coming from somewhere. It's not like they're just figments of my imagination that will go away when I've caught up on sleep. They're here for a reason: there are triggers and concerns and insecurities which I'm apparently normally able to cope with and deal with but which, when I am worn out, surface and affect me profoundly, and I want to deal with those. I want to identify them and confront them.
So, in an odd way, I'm thankful for these depressive days where I realize, "Hey, you have some weaknesses you need to figure out and learn to exercise or change to improve your relationships and your productivity." I'll have the energy to tackle that soon. I just don't know if I have it now. Right now, I just want to be alone...or hold and be held by someone...if there were anyone nearby whose embrace I thought would help...I guess today's one of those days I wish I had someone "special" to fill that role.
Well, enough of that for now. I have a 3-year-old's backyard Easter egg hunt to photograph. That's always good for the soul. :-)
I don't know if I'll post all of my thoughts today, but they are not happy-bubbly, so if I do, I'm just explaining that I know it's not the end of the world, and I don't mean to whine. I just sometimes think it's productive to let each other know when we're down and struggling, or to express troublesome thoughts to open them up to feedback or understanding from others. Expressing one's struggles is not paramount to whining or being a wuss. Anyone who thinks differently is probably emotionally constipated in certain ways or, quite simply, a total ass.
I'm pretty sure I'll feel better later, and I may have happy or silly things to say later tonight or tomorrow after some rest or after shaking it off. I'll probably look back on today as a mood blip brought on by being completely worn out and getting far too little sleep. But what I can't shake is the notion that the things that bother me when I'm in this weakened emotional state, the issues that surface: the feelings of loneliness, misunderstanding, uselessness, lack of talent, being unlovable, hopelessly single and solitary, etc, are coming from somewhere. It's not like they're just figments of my imagination that will go away when I've caught up on sleep. They're here for a reason: there are triggers and concerns and insecurities which I'm apparently normally able to cope with and deal with but which, when I am worn out, surface and affect me profoundly, and I want to deal with those. I want to identify them and confront them.
So, in an odd way, I'm thankful for these depressive days where I realize, "Hey, you have some weaknesses you need to figure out and learn to exercise or change to improve your relationships and your productivity." I'll have the energy to tackle that soon. I just don't know if I have it now. Right now, I just want to be alone...or hold and be held by someone...if there were anyone nearby whose embrace I thought would help...I guess today's one of those days I wish I had someone "special" to fill that role.
Well, enough of that for now. I have a 3-year-old's backyard Easter egg hunt to photograph. That's always good for the soul. :-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)