Do You Know What It's Like?

Sometimes, cheesy musicals make people cry unexpectedly. Or maybe just me. Tonight, I was reminded of such a musical I saw last year in Seattle: Zanna Don't. I enjoyed it much more than I expected I would, but I'm not going to post music from it because to be honest, I don't think it's especially...great, but it's one of those things that works in context, and there's one part in particular that got me: yes, I got all teary. I was so surprised to hear my thoughts articulated in a way I hadn't ever heard from anyone else that it was kind of like a sucker punch to the gut, sending me right back into that situation:

Do you know what it's like
Not to be in love with you,
Not to have my heart obey
What my mind wants to be true?
Do you know what it's like
Not to be in love with you,
But to like you, love you, cherish you,
idolize you and protect you?
Do you know what it's like to look into your eyes
And see what I know you don't see in mine
Though I pray it might be so the whole night through?
Do you know what it's like
to have to let go of your hand
and to start another life, a life I don't understand,
and live the rest of my life knowing how much I've hurt you?
Oh, do you know?

It may be that you have to truly sympathize with those lyrics to understand my reaction as this was sung to a character who had just expressed their love and the pain and difficulty of coming to terms with it not being fully returned. But even tonight, as I read them for the first time in many months, it choked me up a bit because I couldn't help but go back to when that was all fresh, when I didn't know what to say, felt so confused about what I was and was not feeling, and wondered how many I'd end up so caring for but hurting in the end. Fortunately, the one or two I'd have said this to, if I'd known how to say it, have found happiness with others since, and I'm genuinely happy for them. Looking back, even though my story is still unclear, and I don't believe all similar situations must have the same outcome, I'm glad things have worked out the way they have. But it still "gets me", stupid sappy musical. Good thing the musical didn't take itself too seriously and went right back into silliness right after this song, or I would probably resent it and never admit to its ability to elicit an emotional response. :-)