...but not knowing how to truly know whether most people do, including friends. Words are useless in these times. Words mean nothing. Actions mean little. Only true consistency and familiarity matters in moments like this, when I just need to be reminded that someone who truly knows me truly cares. About me. With all my frailties. They don't have to coddle me. It's just nice when they esteem me as someone they love and show some sensitivity when I'm feeling really alone.
Tonight, all I want is to talk with someone I know cares. Someone I know I trust, and with good reason. Someone who understands me, or at least respects me in more than a token way but in a way that reflects more on their character than on my supposed merits. But they're all asleep, of course, or live elsewhere. Mostly both.
I'm left unable to sleep, with nobody to vent to except my journal. So journal it is.
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