Blocked by the opposite of writer's block?

I have so many thoughts milling about politics, religion, spirituality, relationships, social interactions, or whatnot and so many experiences this year that I can't keep up with them in writing. I'm not sure anyone who reads my blog is actually interested in most of the thoughts or daily goings-on, anyway. Or if they are, I'm not sure whether I can articulate them completely enough without the endeavor consuming my free time at the expense of job-hunting, relationships, or personal interests like photography. Balance is a bear.

I also would rather have personal conversations about these things than broadcast them here, because they've reached a point of depth, or sensitivity, or controversy, or whatever, that it's easier to focus on the universal here and approach the finer but more controversial points one-on-one as I talk with y'all personally.

And yet I want to be open to have these thoughts challenged politely and constructively by those with whom I don't normally get to talk or wouldn't dare approach the issues. I want input from those who don't have a large incentive to avoid rocking the boat, as it were, because they see me regularly and don't want to risk our relationship by threatening my security or having their own security threatened by the disagreement.

I don't want to hide these things, either. I don't mean to keep my perspectives a secret. I just prefer to explain them in full as I have opportunity to do so with individuals. So it's easier to leave it alone and just wear my universal hat here. Yet...my drive for authenticity makes this a tense game for me as it calls for increasing dialog and understanding through constructive conflict rather than fostering a false sense of harmony through universality.

Of course, there's the light and fluffy I enjoy sharing, too. It's just that this last year has been such an exploration of self and re-assessment of paradigms that I benefit from articulating it and hammering out the details, and there's so much to explain about where I've been and where I think I'm going. I guess I have a lifetime to philosophize, but it's the exploration, as much as or more than the destination, which fascinates me, so it's hard to set it aside even when I'm OK with not knowing everything now. And again, I want to catch you all up, but maybe I just can't. Maybe that's OK. You don't know what I've been up to or the memories I've been making with various people, you don't know my thoughts as I sit alone, you don't know my shifting paradigms on life, the universe, and everything, and you don't know the experiences, positive and negative, I've had this last month or two or ten. I just can't share it all. But I'll share as I can, and as I think is appropriate, and hey, one-on-one, I'll catch you up as much as you want. Y'know, most of my travel is to visit friends and family, and I'll answer most any question thrown at me. I'm rambling now. I do that.

The short update: I'm well. Life is good, my outlook is hopeful and skeptically optimistic, unemployment is coming to an end (I feel it in my bones), and I haven't been up to anything remarkably exciting, but I've been really enjoying my low-key life.

Good night!