Have you ever paid attention to where you're looking when you're actually "looking someone in the eyes"? Maybe I spent so much of my life generally avoiding eye contact that actually making eye contact became a deliberate thing, but I realized, recently, that I had changed the way I looked people in the eye.
At some point, I started bouncing back and forth between both of their eyes in rapid motion, which somehow felt awkward. Sometimes, I've also looked at their eyes generally but in a non-focused way, just looking in the direction of their eyes but not into them. But when I noticed I was doing that, I decided to focus my attention, and when it's been natural and steady, I noticed I tend to look at people in their right eye, or the left from my perspective. Unless their right eye is somehow covered, crooked, or vacant, then I switch to the left and stick with it.
And as I've stopped myself from scanning back and forth between both eyes, and instead looked more intently into their eyes (or, more accurately, their single eye I've chosen to focus on) I've noticed more of a connection when talking, and I've regained that sort of "window to the soul" perception. It's been good.
So now I've been noticing what other people do, too. Since everyone I know has the use of at least one functional eye, I can ask y'all: what eye do you look into? Or do you look through them? Or bounce back and forth between both? Or avoid eye contact altogether? Or have you never thought about this and think I'm weird for even asking? You might be right. I'm going to sleep.
5 comments:
I vote for wierd. Good night :-)
lol. This is like a conversation I would have with myself in my mind. Thank you for turning it into a public post.
um, so to answer the question:
I like to take in the whole face. I also go back and forth between both eyes. Out of consideration, I'll break eye contact periodically throughout our conversation. Not everyone has built up the capacity (or has the interest) to handle too much eye contact.
:)
I just focus on the chest.
Seriously, though, I think I focus on the right eye as well, although sometimes I think I bounce between eyes. I'll have to pay more attention to that.
Hmm. Now my curiosity is peaked. I tend to look AT the eyes when speaking to someone, not sure if I look into them or not. I've never really paid attention to my general conversations...I do pay attention when I'm really interested in what they are saying or interested in them. Now I will have to pay attention to myself at church tomorrow to see what I do in general. Wait...did that imply I'm not usually interested at church? ;)
I jest.
I'm still getting over the complete avoidance of eye contact - if I know a person I at least look at their face, but not into their eyes unless I really trust them enough to let them see me. I'll have to pay attention who which eye I look into in those not-so-common instances. Thanks for posting this, I always forget this is a major thing I need to work on myself.
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